Finding balance

Life is one big balancing act and becomes even more so as we get older.  We have new responsibilities and are forced to alter our priorities.  As we go through different stages in our lives, another layer is added to the ever-growing tower of things to balance. 

When in college, it's all about finding a way to balance having fun with the real reason we're there in the first place...oh, and learning to balance a checkbook on your own!  At the time, we might feel overwhelmed with the responsibilities of living on our own for the first time, even though most of us still relied on our parents for many things...monetary support, emotional support, and even help doing laundry.  After college, finding balance takes on another level.  We are really on our own for the first time, with real jobs, financial responsibilities, etc.  I met Pete the summer right after college.  I was living in Chicago with my girlfriends, working crazy hours at a job I despised (though it's where I met Pete), and learning how to live on my own for real.  Eventually, I started graduate school, while working full-time and planning a wedding.  I thought that was the ultimate in finding balance.  Little did I know just how little I actually knew about finding balance!

I think women are master multi-taskers, but we aren't so great sometimes at finding balance.  Women, and especially mothers, tend to always put ourselves last on the list of things to take care of.  Once we have children, the inevitable balancing act of life takes on a whole new meaning, especially when you add more than one child to the mix.  When we just had Jackson, it was all about him and he was certainly the "king of the castle" in our home.   With Luke and Olivia, and especially with all of Luke's needs, I find it almost impossible to come up with the perfect balance of finding equal time for all three, while also finding enough time with Pete and family and friends.    I guess there really isn't ever a "perfect" balance.  We just have to do the best we can.  

And moving on to the original point of this post... My latest keep-me-up-at-night-worry has been figuring out how much to make (or not make) Down syndrome a part of our lives.  What's the right balance?  I want to acknowledge it as part of our lives and part of who Luke is (not in a negative way), yet I do not want the diagnosis to define who he is or who we are as a family.  I've met some wonderful new friends over the last year, all of whom have handled their situation differently.  Some jumped right in and joined organizations, became Board members of certain organizations, volunteered, etc.  Others sat back a while and just took some time to process before becoming a part of this new community.  I would say that Pete and I have been somewhere in the middle.  We joined NADS (National Association for Down Syndrome) almost immediately, I joined moms groups, and we will be attending the NADS conference in November.

A friend told me a story about a panel she recently saw which consisted of all teenagers with Down syndrome.  One of the audience members asked the question that I've thought about quite often... When did you know you had Down syndrome?  They all answered in a similar fashion... Maybe when they were a baby, there wasn't really one moment in time, they just slowly realized it.  The amazing thing is that they answered as if it just wasn't a big deal to them.  For Luke, I will work to make this just a part of our lives.  I want to acknowledge it for what it is (another layer), yet also approach it in the same way those teenagers did in their discussion.  Just as life goes, it's about finding the balance.