God only gives you what He thinks you can handle

...but I think He's way overestimated what I can handle! I'm so ready to start a new year.
WARNING: pity party. The last 7 years brought us 4 years of trying for baby #1, 11 total fertility treatments, 4 miscarriages, 1 failed adoption, 1 year+ trying for baby #2, 17 weeks strict bed rest with 4 hospitalizations, and now a sick child who has had 4 hospitalizations and 2 surgeries in just 3 months of life! Don't get me wrong, I am incredibly blessed in so many ways and am so grateful for so many things. I'm just done for a little while with those fun little surprises that life throws your way! I do believe that things (at least most) happen for a reason and each of those challenges we've faced has made us stronger individuals and stronger as a couple. This is by far the greatest challenge we've experienced, but I know that Luke's health will get better and that the challenges he might face in the future will continue to help us grow and learn in more ways than we could imagine.

Pete and I try to always be positive people and are trying to remain optimistic, but at the same time we need to be realistic. In the last month we have seen 3 adults with Down syndrome cleaning tables at restaurants. There is also a man with Down syndrome who bags groceries at our local store. While in the past I would have seen this and thought to myself how great that they are working, we now see it and think, "Wow, that could be Luke." Let's face it, no one dreams that their child will one day be picking up trash or bagging groceries. BUT, what we have come to realize is that we must change our way of thinking and what our goals might be for Luke. That's where the grieving process comes in that everyone has been talking to us about. We do not know for sure what Luke's path will be, and we know we need to avoid looking too far into the future. For now, we are focused on short-term goals and helping him attain those goals in his own time. When he had his ear tube surgery at Loyola we had to share a room in the ICU because they were very busy. It just so happened that it was a 2 1/2 year old little boy with Down syndrome. He was exactly Jackson's age and was not walking or talking. He had just started scooting on his bottom and had virtually zero verbal skills. He had had his tonsils and adenoids removed and was screaming for 3 hours straight because he could not verbalize that he was in pain. It was absolutely heartbreaking and so difficult to think of Jackson not being able to walk or talk. Again, we know that Luke will have his own path and cannot be compared to other children. There is no way to know what's in store for him, so we will hope for the best and celebrate every accomplishment as it comes!