A probably little known fact about me is that I absolutely love music, virtually any genre: alternative, top 40's, hip hop, country, classical, you name it. Thanks to Jackson, I've even grown to appreciate marching band music and his favorite Justin Roberts CD that we have to listen to incessantly. I love that any one song or group can immediately take you back to a moment in time. There are songs/groups that take me back to high school (New Edition, Bobby Brown), college (The Samples, Freddie Jones, Pearl Jam), right out of college in Chicago ("Gettin' Jiggy With It" and mostly songs from college as we tried to hold onto those days), the beginning of my relationship with Pete (Dave Matthews Band), getting married (Stevie Wonder and "Music" by Madonna), living in San Diego (John Mayer, Sheryl Crow), and so on and so forth. Yes, I'm just slightly embarrassed to admit some of those!
What I also love about music is that it can instantly evoke a wide variety of emotions or change your mood. For example, "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'" can immediately kick up the intensity level of my workout, though it takes incredible restraint not to break out into song and dance in the middle of the gym. An occasional "ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa" may slip out, however. Certain songs can bring on the waterworks, while others can bring a smile to my face with the very first note. I wouldn't say I'm the reggae kind of girl, but Bob Marley has a certain affect on me. The first two lines of "Three Little Birds" resonate with me in times of fear and uncertainty for what the future holds. Something about that song leads to an easy, relaxed feeling. Just the other day, Jackson and Olivia were sleeping and I was holding Luke trying to get him to sleep. "Three Little Birds" came on over the iPod mix I had playing in the kitchen. Luke and I danced and had a moment I won't ever forget, one of those moments I'll remember each time I hear that song from now on. As Bob Marley sang, "Don't worry 'bout a thing, 'cause every little thing gonna be all right," I swear Luke stared directly at me and smiled the entire time, as if to tell me that Bob knows what he's talking about. Don't worry, everything will be fine.
Love your blog, Jana! I think about you, Pete, Jackson, Luke and Olivia all the time. "Get a grip" really resonated with me. You are doing an amazing job, you are an amazing mother.
ReplyDeleteI, too, always pin different songs with where I was at the time, what I was doing and who I was with, etc. And oh, the emotions! Some of my newest favorites (for the babies) are "My Wish" by Rascal Flats, "It Won't Be Like This For Long" by Hootie, er, I mean Darius Rucker and "Smile" by Uncle Kracker...all of which bring on the water works at some point in each song!
Anyway, I look forward to reading more of your blog. And, I'm always just a text away if you ever need a friend! xoxo
It is so true what you are saying. Sometimes I believe there is a "reason" we hear certain songs at certain times. I sometimes take for granted how lucky we are and then the words of a "song" put everything in perspective. Just wait until the kids can sing them with you. (Memories for a lifetime)
ReplyDeleteJana - I just read your whole blog, and nodded and cried as I did. I'm so glad you decided to share your blog with us. I have also found it's a wonderful outlet, though I realize I don't write about my feelings too much. Would you mind if I linked your blog on mine? It really has been amazing to me to know that I have reached someone with a similar story when they leave a comment on my blog and I hope you can have that too.
ReplyDeleteYou are one amazing Mom, still pumping and going to the gym???!! :)
I love the pics pof the kiddos too, they are just precious. Jackson sounds so mature and caring and Olivia such a sweetie. Luke is so strong, just like Em, they have to be don't they? I'm so sorry he might have to get the colostomy bag. Sometimes it seems like just one thing after another, one more doctor, one more appointment, one more bad day.
But I can tell you that it really does get easier, and the greiving gets different, not so sad. Believe me, I still get sad, but this past year has been a really good one for Emily and that has helped.
Anyway, sorry for the novel, but you know I understand and I'm here for you. :)
Love this entry, Jana...I can tell we are related - I've been darned near obsessive about music my entire life. Now that I'm a 'senior citizen' I have much too long a list for this venue, but one genre that you do not mention but has come to affect me a great deal in the past 10 years (since Uncle Norm's passing) is church music. Episcopoleans love their music, choirs, organs and sometimes small string ensembles...and especially during communion. Very, very emotional for me....I'm happy this blog is therapeutic for you and, believe it or not, you're providing therapy for a few others as well. Thank you.
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